This list is always a work in progress, of course, because language and relationships are always evolving. And, some of them are shorthand I invented (as denoted by *) but also…could come from the poly-kink internet-ether. When you do new things, you need new words! 5-minute float*: the five minute…

What thrift store shopping has taught me about dating. My thrifting rules, first, but the bold themes will be revisited for dating insight: Rule 1: Know thyself: what do you look good in? What works for your life, in general? What does your actual body look like right now? What…

Some obvious, some not!** Your experience may I’ve been doing this long enough that I have some advice, and I just got back from a hotel party yesterday and forgot a few key things so I wanted to share. Plus, expectations and norms if you haven’t been. …

My birthday was a few weeks ago, and two years back, I wrote a long essay about how annoyed I was that none of my partners did anything to celebrate me. …

By someone you met on an online dating app…. It might not be avoidable, but here’s what I’ve learned to spot it! …

Everywhere I go, I hear about the mental health of men … They are in crisis. Even my therapist agrees, men are struggling, and they rarely want to talk about it. I spend most of my waking hours working on mental health, education, health care — and I talk with…

Honor your values, knowing that nothing is risk-free but information is available! There’s a gap here between medical knowledge and the risk-aware that I’m going to try to fill. Sources will be linked and a list included at the end. Please share widely. Let’s start simple: HSV-1 and HSV-2 are…

I’m a highly process-oriented (Virgo) person — I thought I had all the metrics for this dating thing ahem, nailed, where I look for a new secondary partner and some occasional play partners in a smart way. I *mostly* know what I’m looking for (age, body type, kink level, intelligence…

One of the most remarkable findings of the last few years is discovering that my circle of friends is actually not the vanilla people I assumed they were. Among the very same people I’ve been hanging out with for years, I found non-monogamy of various sorts: swingers, open relationships, one…