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Yes, Please! Sexuality Book Report
Designer Relationships by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson
Summary: Much of our dissatisfaction with relationships is that we have defaulted to a style or arrangement that doesn’t work for us but we don’t know how to change it or escape it. Whether it’s being single and having casual sex, having multiple partners, being romantic but not sexual, or living with multiple romantic and sexual partners, the most important thing is that everyone involved consents. But if we can’t talk about the variety, we can’t imagine a different structure that might suit us better. Thus, we should consciously design our relationships, knowing that they may change over time.
Main Points:
Customize your relationships and don’t settle for the default option of monogamy. There is little evidence that it’s “natural” as it is the exception, rather than the rule in the animal kingdom. But, there are cultural aspects to it that are human inventions, including:
- Sexual monogamy: only having intercourse with one person that you are in a relationship with (but questions arise: what about porn? What about masturbating? Desiring others? Fantasies that don’t include your partner? Are other forms of sexual behavior besides penis-in-vagina sex off limits? Kissing? Sensual touch? Spending time alone?)