Brutal, but useful. Direct communication and inquiry is a timesaver.
I am a woman of process, and constantly optimizing, and in 2020,I started noting my process for polyamorous and kinky dating. I called it the Gauntlet, in order to weed through the number of approaches from (mostly) men on dating apps. Since then, it’s lapsed somewhat, as I’ve been busier, and have a deeply fulfilling partnership that is long-distance right now.
But I’ve run into some problems lately, possibly with not being able to discern a profile with AI-enhanced photos, or just some cruel MFers wasting my time. So I went back to my phone list from the beginning of the dating rampage (circa 2021) I have written about safety protocols for women HERE and I stand by them.
My cardinal rules are basically the same:
- I DON’T FUCK PEOPLE I DON’T TRUST.
- Stupid people do stupid things, including ghosting, insults, boundary breaking, relationship harm and wasted time.
- Follow your instincts. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
- Effort is sexy. Lack of effort is a waste of time. Equal energy exchange in all things.
- I want to be the people who both respect me and can care for me. But you can’t have one without the other.