The Best Way to Avoid Sexually Transmitted Infections?

Ask this question.

I won’t bury the lede. The question to ask someone you are considering having sexual contact with is: “What is your testing protocol?”

It will tell you a few things immediately. First, do they know what you mean by “testing protocol?” It’s the cycle of getting medical testing for sexually transmitted infections common in polyamorous and kink circles.

The answer should be something like:

“I get tested every 3–6 months, and more frequently if I have a new partner.”

“We are fluid bonded and alternate testing every 3 months, unless we have no new partners.”

“I get blood tested annually, with urine tests every 3 months.”

If you get a response like, “What kind of testing?”, I think you can assume that they have not been in the lifestyle very long.

If you get a response like, “What do you mean by protocol?”, I think you can assume that their testing is irregular.

People who go to play parties or kink conventions know that they should get tested before and after them. They know that condoms use is expected there, and that condoms aren’t the only prevention expected.