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Sex Therapist: “Men Don’t Go to Therapy Until Their Dicks Stop Working.”
Tales from midlife sex, crises and growth spurts
I’ve talked a lot about therapy, and sex with men, and… I’ll do it again.
Women are awakening to the power of their midlife sexuality on a broad scale (and thus, the many efforts to quash it) but they are having trouble matching up with the men they are in relationships with.
I was interviewing a sex therapist and she said the quote in the headline, and added this:
“Once their thoughts affect their ability to get an erection, THEN they realize there’s a problem.”
The problems may not actually be related to sex, they maybe anxiety or stress, and those things can be tracked back to work, or family issues, to self-esteem or old unresolved trauma. A sex therapist has the unenviable work of untangling each ball of yarn with her clients until it starts to make sense. Sometimes they continue working on it with their partners in joint sessions, and sometimes it’s outside of those.
But here’s what’s really interesting to me about this: there are physical causes of what’s now known as “erectile dysfunction” and what used to be known as “whiskey dick” and “impotence” (which is really cruel considering it’s about having no power, and wildly phallic and…