I wrote about preparing for hotel sex parties recently — thanks for all the feedback! House parties have a far wider range of experiences, and after a house party this weekend, I realized there’s enough differences to warrant a revised list!
The main one: your hosts set the rules and those can be flexible, and that you don’t have the home base of your hotel room to work with.
There is a customized invite list, and that means the hosts decide who is worthy of an invite — who will behave themselves related to consent and boundaries, who will be a good guest even though there are unusual sexy things happening. Your goal is a lot more about privacy and not getting your host in trouble with neighbors or liable for anything bad that happens, plus making time to have fun!
- The good news: house parties tend to be smaller and have a more consistent culture, so you can get tone and flavor from the hosts more accurately. They know who is coming (tee hee!) and what the parameters around bisexuality, full swapping, BDSM and conversations are, most likely. (Best to check in, though!)
- It can be more polyamory-friendly, with more than just a dyad invited, and it can be more queer-friendly with more expressions of sexuality welcomed. This can be a huge factor in experience and experimentation. (From what I’ve heard, parties are frequently where straight men begin to recognize that even if they are hetero-romantic, they may be bisexual.)
- On the other hand, consider how well you know your hosts — a couple from a hotel party was very friendly to us, but other people alerted us that they are very conservative and parties at their house are not worth the trouble.
- Driving and where to spend the night is a big consideration — one of the downside. There’s the range of availability of hotels, based on where the house is, and sometimes that can be quite a drive. You’ll need to account for avoiding drinking and driving as well as the impact of adrenaline and the “sex high” kind of late night judgment calls.
- You’ll also need to factor in where you might feel comfortable spending the night — and if you can sleep at the party house, do you want to? It may be a lot of noise and interruptions well into the early hours of the morning…
