Rejection: The Gift of Unwasted Time

North Star
6 min readApr 1, 2024

It’s a big mindset shift…but learn to appreciate rejection for what it is

One of my big early polyamory pieces of wisdom (from a Scorpio, of course): Rejection is a gift.

Yes, it hurts. It is not the kind of gift you think you want.

But it is MUCH kinder than so much of the alternatives.

In the current dating world, ghosting, breadcrumbing, benching, submarining are fairly common —and all these words that basically mean you are left wondering, “What’s going on?”

The time and energy spent wondering if someone is just busy, if they are sick or on vacation, if they will be excited to see you once this timeframe is complete…it can be a lot.

Here are three methods of prevention, so that you can shift to more appreciation for rejection when it comes.

  1. Detachment: don’t get too excited too early. See how things are going, see how you feel and check in with yourself. Keep your checklist in mind — what do you want? what works for you? If it’s matching up, keep going, steadily. Do NOT start imagining them moving in or the two of you on an international vacation. It is okay for you to want to date for fun, for conversation, for potential sexual partners, for friendly banter, for new community connections. Wait and see. Leave the boxes for…

--

--

North Star
North Star

Written by North Star

Curiosity flows and I must write. Join me for adventures & insights about my kinky, polyamorous adventures. For more: Instagram.com/NorthStarMatches

Responses (3)