Polyamory’s true snake pit of infidelity is about truth and trust, not the hot, sweaty sex with other people (but sometimes, they are related.)
When the vanillas accuse practitioners of polyamory of scandalous orgies, cheating-by-another-name and luring unsuspecting monogamists into tricky situationships, we wholeheartedly protest! (It’s not like that! We have rules and customs! It’s about addition, not subtraction!) However, there’s a sting to it for the usual reason — sometimes it’s more true than we would like it to be.
Did You Wear a Condom? Did He Wear a Condom?
Interesting that onanism, the Biblical sin of masturbation and coitus interruptus, is such a similar word to omission, because I have identified condom use as one of the big potholes of polyamory.
I have a close friend who had to jettison a cherished partner of many months for lying about condom use, and I have been there several times as well. This one is a tricky thing, you’ll see, because our poly subculture is real squirrely about sexual pleasure, particularly related to male entitlement and men’s aversion to condoms as an obstacle to that pleasure…